A year ago, there was an “airport T-shirt” exchange challenge on TikTok. Travel companions gifted each other outrageous, hilarious, or borderline crass T-shirts that they had to wear all day while flying.
Interestingly, if you’ve studied the “spotlight effect,” you know that this is how one of the studies for this concept was conducted. The spotlight effect occurs when individuals overestimate how much others pay attention to their actions or perceived flaws.
Participants in the study wore a Barry Manilow T-shirt in a crowded group setting. They were asked to estimate how many people they thought would remember their unusual T-shirt choice. The participants guessed that about half of the room would notice. Guess what? Only a quarter of the people in the room noticed the shirt.
The study, along with others, reveals a tendency to overestimate the attention others pay to our actions and appearance.
In another semester-long experiment called the “Bad Hair Day Study,” students rated classmates on whether they looked better or worse than usual. The results showed that most people didn’t see the variations in appearance - they didn't notice when classmates were looking their best or worst.
So, what does this have to do with communication? EVERYTHING.
Have you ever given a presentation and fumbled a word? You might be convinced that everyone noticed. However, the reality is that most people barely noticed – or cared. A typo in an email? No biggie. The entire email is not ruined because of one typo.
Wear the fabulously quirky shirt. Publish the article. Keep voicing your opinion in meetings – even if you occasionally stumble over a word. Contrary to how you may feel, you are not under a spotlight. Don't let that concern hold you back from communicating and engaging.
"Let your hair down" origin
Where did the phrase “let your hair down” come from?
If you “let your hair down,” it means you are relaxing and enjoying yourself, without worrying about behaving politely.
In the 17th century, elaborate hairstyles featuring curls piled up on the head and above the face were popular (known as the fontange style). Wire was often used to create these elaborate hairstyles. As you can imagine, it was NOT comfortable! The only time women could get comfortable – and let their hair down – was when they went home. They could relax in the comfort of their homes!
Do you ever use this phrase?
A MUCH-NEEDED LAUGH!
INSPIRATION
Imagine training for months, only to collapse 650 feet from the finish line. That’s what happened to 2025 Boston Marathon runner Shawn Goodwin. He was nearing the finish line of the Boston Marathon when his legs seized up, and he collapsed to the ground. He tried to get up, but he wasn’t able to.
Pedro Arieta was on pace for a personal record, but that changed when he saw Goodwin. He stopped to check on Shawn and help him to his feet. He wrapped his arm around Goodwin, and together they crossed the finish line.
Pedro Arieta later shared on his Instagram what an amazing experience he had at the race. “The Boston Marathon surprised me in more ways than one. It reminded me that sport is much more collective than we think.”
He also shared why he stopped to help Shawn. “It was impossible to run past someone who needed help reaching their dream finish line and not help them complete the Boston Marathon."
I don’t remember who won the race, but I know I won’t forget this amazing story of sportsmanship and kindness. May we follow Pedro’s lead and find ways to show others warmth, empathy, and kindness. Scroll below to see the video – try to watch it and not cry! ❤️
Pedro Arieta and Shawn Goodwin
I LOVE creating this newsletter. If you know someone who would enjoy it, please forward it to them with an invitation to subscribe here.
DRAMA dots . . . Creating engaging, effective communications! Check Out Past Newsletters What musical instrument was invented to sound like a human singing? What was the first toy advertised on TV? Hmmm …those are interesting questions… Do people enjoy something even more if there is a bit of anticipation? That was the question University of Chicago economist George Loewenstein delved into with his 1987 study. He asked 30 students how much they would pay to immediately experience five...
DRAMA dots . . . Creating engaging, effective communications! Check Out Past Newsletters I have a recurring appointment at an office downtown, and I pass the same businesses every week. There is one business I’m always excited to walk past – they put out a chalkboard sign with a riddle on it. It’s an escape room business, so their daily riddle is on brand. This was last week’s sign: I take pictures of these signs to share with my son; they always grab my attention! (Answer to the riddle is at...
DRAMA dots . . . Creating engaging, effective communications! CHECK OUT MY SITE Last weekend, I went back to my hometown for my 30th high school reunion. I was actually excited about it – we had an amazing turnout for the previous reunion. As I walked into the reunion, I was shocked. Only a handful of people showed up. And, most of them were good friends with one another. As we were discussing the lack of attendance, someone said, “I don’t know why people aren’t here. I put it on Facebook.”...
